Monday, 21 March 2011 16:17

Parenting on the Plains; How to Make Time-Out Work for You

Written by  Dr. Polly Dunn
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Recently I’ve noticed that time-out has gotten a bad rap. Parents of this generation are often told to use it as a discipline method with their children, but rarely do they get instructions on how to do it correctly! What happens is that they give time-out a try, it’s an epic fail, and then they give up on it as a method for discipline. But if you know how to use it properly, time-out can actually be a great tool for disciplining your children. Try these tips to help make time-out work for you:

• Pick a good spot for time-out before you actually have to use it. I prefer a hallway or a chair in the dining room, but really it depends on the set up of your home. Try to make your spot be one that you can keep an eye on while they’re there, but not one that gets them into any further trouble. Also, be sure they aren’t able to get any attention in their spot or get into anything fun! Going to time-out should be a punishment, not a good time!

• The length of time-out in minutes should be equal to your child’s age in years. For example, if they’re three, then they should be able to sit in time-out for three minutes.

• Before taking your child to time-out, tell them why they are going. For example, “Since you threw your book across the room, you are going to have to sit in time-out.” Or, “Because you didn’t pick up your toys when I asked, you are going to have to sit in time-out.” Or, “You have to sit in time-out because you hit your sister.”

• When walking them to their time-out spot, don’t say anything! Ignore their attempts to apologize, whine, or cry their way out of it. Just walk them to their spot calmly and quietly.

• Once you get to the time-out spot, tell them to sit down. Once they are quietly in their spot, start keeping time. Some people use a timer in the kitchen; just figure out what works best for you.

• Don’t talk to or interact with your child while they’re in time-out. If they scream and cry, just ignore them! When the timer goes off, then go to your child and tell them that they need to follow your original instruction. For example, “Go pick up your toys,” “Now, get the book you threw and put it on the bookshelf,” or “Tell your sister you are sorry for hitting her.”

• If they don’t comply, then start over and put them back in time-out. The sequence continues until they follow the original instruction. So, you might have to put them in time-out a few times (okay, maybe more than a few) while you’re first getting the hang of it, but eventually they’ll comply if you stand your ground. After a few trials, you’ll likely find that time-out really can work for you. Good luck!
Last modified on Wednesday, 18 May 2011 12:21
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Dr. Polly Dunn

Dr. Polly Dunn

Dr. Polly Dunn received her Ph.D. from Auburn University in 1999. She is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and currently serves as the Director of the Auburn University Psychological Services Center, a position she has held for over ten years. Dr. Dunn is also the founder of www.ChildPsychMom.com where she blogs about what works and what doesn’t in her hectic life as a child psychologist, wife, and mom of four.

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